So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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