He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
