We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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