We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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