that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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