Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize