there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
