Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
