benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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