I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
its liver damage thursday
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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