Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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