Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it hurts more in the daytime
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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