you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
