I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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