You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
