oh god the rape fog is back!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
