There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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