Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
