DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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