That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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