listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
