Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.