He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.