I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
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You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together