I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!