i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.