White coat. Heels.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
