What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
