can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just google imaged poop.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize