im drinking this country out of the recession.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
