I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
