I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.