I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?