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ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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