Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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  (917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (535)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.

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  (813): I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this. http://tfl.nu/6tpg
  Replies (32) Good night (662) Bad night (3157)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.

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  (847): There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car. http://tfl.nu/95qt
  Replies (40) Good night (1269) Bad night (8288)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans

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  (336): nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans http://tfl.nu/j158
  Replies (16) Good night (7105) Bad night (601)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it glows. i had to have it.

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  (904): it glows. i had to have it. http://tfl.nu/ygwq
  Replies (14) Good night (5491) Bad night (994)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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  (224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u
  Replies (4) Good night (4937) Bad night (1026)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.

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  (906): it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something. http://tfl.nu/su0x
  Replies (3) Good night (1125) Bad night (950)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol

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  (910): he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol http://tfl.nu/9w2c
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (594)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

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  (414): Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table? http://tfl.nu/liu6
  Replies (7) Good night (2352) Bad night (895)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

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  (757): Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning http://tfl.nu/ntuq
  Replies (14) Good night (1851) Bad night (487)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev

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  (270): Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev http://tfl.nu/bqo9
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (312)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand

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  (443): Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand http://tfl.nu/0tkh
  Replies (4) Good night (289) Bad night (684)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.

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  (406): We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right. http://tfl.nu/ritk
  Replies (5) Good night (1937) Bad night (297)
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  (714): View more from California

  So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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  (714): So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place http://tfl.nu/9hat
  Replies (5) Good night (644) Bad night (217)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty

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  (802): I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty http://tfl.nu/5ayd
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (222)

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