Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(502): Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER! http://tfl.nu/qf7o

Replies (9) Good night (1012) Bad night (2095)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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(402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty http://tfl.nu/i6m7

Replies (95) Good night (3256) Bad night (1138)
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(646): View more from New York

Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.

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(646): Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation. http://tfl.nu/0p0c

Replies (6) Good night (1110) Bad night (3047)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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(610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s

Replies (17) Good night (6324) Bad night (1021)
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(618): View more from Illinois

There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.

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(618): There's an australian, my relationship has no hope. http://tfl.nu/z5vt

Replies (20) Good night (3040) Bad night (1415)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.

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(610): you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee. http://tfl.nu/x3vo

Replies (3) Good night (2460) Bad night (859)
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(208): View more from Idaho

New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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(208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa

Replies (10) Good night (2748) Bad night (1223)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.

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(601): I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak. http://tfl.nu/j26q

Replies (19) Good night (778) Bad night (3420)
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(415): View more from California

also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...

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(415): also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable... http://tfl.nu/fb10

Replies (9) Good night (701) Bad night (1532)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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(267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs

Replies (20) Good night (840) Bad night (2107)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.

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(303): My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you. http://tfl.nu/ugo1

Replies (19) Good night (842) Bad night (1643)
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(702): View more from Nevada

He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?

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(702): He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed? http://tfl.nu/mq0y

Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (298)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited

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(419): Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited http://tfl.nu/eyjk

Replies (3) Good night (897) Bad night (426)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.

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(303): Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary. http://tfl.nu/16rt

Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (378)
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(678): View more from Georgia

He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?

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(678): He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/i7yj

Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (159)

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