Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
