census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I look better un-naked...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize