Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
