I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
