I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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