i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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