Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
