he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
