even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
