is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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