I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
