I smell stomach acid.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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