i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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