just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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