9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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