Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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