the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
