I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
