I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
