I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
