the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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