Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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