Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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