Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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