We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
