am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
