Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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