I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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