Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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