I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
