We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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