you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
