Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
