found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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